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  1. #1
    Inactive Member imported_MOX's Avatar
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    College Football Jokes

    Two boys are playing football in City Park in NE Gainesville when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

    A reproter from the Gainesvill Sun, who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Gator Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

    "But I'm not a Gator fan," the little hero replied.

    "Sorry, since we are in North Central Florida I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Little Seminole Fan Rescuses Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

    "I'm not a Seminole fan either," the boy said.

    "I assumed everyone in the area was either for the Gators or the Seminoles. What team do you root for?" the reproter asked.

    "I'm a UT Vols fan!" the child said.

    The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Nut Kills Beloved Family Pet."

    -----------------------------------

    One day, an FSU player and a Tennessee player were at a bar. The Tennessee player asked the FSU player what FSU meant. The FSU player replied, "Florida Stomped Us." Then he asked the Tennessee player what UT meant. The UT player told him, "Us Too."

    ---------------------------------

    Albert Einstein went to a party and asked people their I.Q.
    ....he asked this guy and the guy said,"120". Einstein said, "great, we can talk about nuclear fission". then he asked this girl and she said,"110" and he said "great, we can talk about the angle of the worlds axis." and finally he went up to this guy and the guy said,"51" and einstein said,"how bout them vols!"


    -----------------------------

    A UF and a UT fan were driving in opposite directions one dark stormy night and the had a collision in the middile of the road. Both of them survived and were happy to so. To celebrate the UF FAN said to the UT fan "lets have a drink" and he pulled a bottle of Jack from the trunk of his car. The Gator poured the to a drink and said "lets put our differences behind us" The UT fan drank up and the said "go ahead my friend" and the Gator said "no thanks ill wait until the cops arrive"




    "Why so serious?"

  2. #2
    Inactive Member gcdevil22's Avatar
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    haha LOVE it!!!

    what do you call a drug ring in knoxville?


    a huddle
    "An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."

    -Martin Luther King Jr.

  3. #3
    Inactive Member smarty's Avatar
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    *lol* those are great.

  4. #4
    Inactive Member MikMo's Avatar
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    The one with Einstein was a good one.
    [img]http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k102/ETWNAPPEL/calgraphic.gif?t=1238543058[/img]

  5. #5
    Inactive Member 73fan's Avatar
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
    The cop.

    Why is UF changing their mascot to the possum?
    Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

    How many Gators does it take to change a flat tire?
    Just one...unless it's a blowout, then they all show up!

    A guy is in a bar with his dog, watching the Tennessee vs. Florida game. The gators surprisingly manage to get a field goal and the dog barks repeatedly. The bartender looks at the dog in awe. After a while the gators score a touchdown and the dog does flips and dances across the bar. Then, the bartender looks at the guy and says, "Man, that's amazing. What does your dog do when Forida beats Tennessee?" The guy replied, "I dunno, I've only had him 3 years."


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "When Giving Your Best Is Not Good Enough"

  6. #6
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    Why do Canes put those tiny little steering wheels in their cars??

    So they can drive with handcuffs on [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  7. #7
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    What does the Tennessee Football Program and a sand castle have in common??
    They both look real good, then the TIDE ROLLS IN!!!

    How do you get a Tennessee Football Fan to stop beating his wife???
    Dress her in Crimson!!!

    What do you call 32 Tennesse women in one room?
    A full set of teeth!

    What has 98 legs & 49 teeth?
    A UT Sorority party

    How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in Knoxville?
    Had it been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a "teethbrush."

    What does an UT girl say after sex?
    Get off me Daddy, yer crushin' ma cigarettes

    Why do UT women like to be on top?
    So they don't swallow their tobacco

    How do you keep a UT girl from biting her nails?
    Make her wear shoes

    How do you complement an UT fan?
    Nice tooth

    What do you call a line of John Deere tractors going down the road?
    The UT Homecoming Parade

    What is the definition of safe sex down at UT?
    Placing a sign on the animals that kick...

    Why don't they teach sex ed and driver ed at UT in the same day?
    They don't want the mule to get too tired

    Hear about the UT guy who lost $50 on the football game?
    He lost $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay!

    How do you break an UT guy's finger?
    Punch him in the nose

    What kind of jokes do they tell in Poland?
    UT Jokes!!

    How do you know you're in a UT bar?
    If you call the number on the rest room wall you get the Farm Report



    That should be enough to upset the UT fans on here [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]




  8. #8
    Inactive Member imported_MOX's Avatar
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    haha imagine that ... a UT fan telling a joke about some football players getting arrested
    "Why so serious?"

  9. #9
    Inactive Member smarty's Avatar
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    Re: College Football Jokes

    How do you sell out a FSU home game?
    Invite the Florida Gators!

    What do you call an Florida State grad wearing a suit and tie?
    The defendant!

    What do you call a Nole with half a brain?
    "Gifted"

    How many FSU freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Zero, it is a sophomore course.

    How do you get a FSU graduate off your front porch?
    Pay him for the pizza!!!!

    A guy walks into a bar and says, "Hey barkeep- did you ever hear the one about the Seminoles?"
    Four huge men stand up and approach the man. One of them says, "We play football at FSU- you sure you wanna tell that joke?" The guy replies, "What? and have to explain it four times?"

    What is the difference between a Nole and Rice Crispies?
    Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why did they cancel the FSU Christmas party? They couldnt't find three wise men or a virgin.

    Bobby Bowden, after living a full life, died. When he got to Heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Seminole flag in the window.

    "This is yours for eternity," said G-d. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

    Bobby felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with an orange-and-blue sidewalk, 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous UF Gator log flag, and in every window, pictures of Gators with football helmets. Bobby looked at G-d and said, "G-d, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. "I've been rated No. 1 in the country, I won championships and I'm probably going to the Hall of Fame."



    G-d asked, "So what do you want to know Bobby?"

    Well, why does Steve Spurrier get a better house than I?"

    G-d chuckled and said, "Bobby, that's not Steve Spurrier's house. It's mine."


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What did the UF grad say to the Florida State grad? Will the defendant please rise.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What's the best thing to come out of Tallahassee? I-10


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What is the difference between FSU women and garbage? Garbage gets taken out sometimes


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What do FSU and UF students have in common? They both got accepted to FSU

  10. #10
    Guest 's Avatar

    Re: College Football Jokes

    Ahh I've heard most of those before but I don't care. I'm proud to be a Criminole fan [img]/LDPforum/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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